Bruja versus Trace

 


For a long, long time a deep silence fell on the Crimson Court. The distant hum of voices from the courtyard beneath ceased, the birds, that had been singing sweetly up on the window-sill hushed their songs, the Queen, who had at that moment returned from the fight in the hall fell asleep, the brave fighters slumbered as they stood, Trace began to snore – in a ladylike manner, of course – even the bugs, that had just been going to walk to the garden fell asleep at that exact moment. Deep shadows darkened the sunny rooms and gardens, it was just, as though night had taken over everything, but there was no one in or near the palace to heed, whether it was dark or light.

 

This sudden darkness had been caused by a magic spell, which sprang up all around the palace, as Bruja tried to send another purulence-spell to Trace. Seeing the witch raising her arms, the lovesick greenlighted wizard pushed Bruja down. Lurching, the sorceress fell against the courtyards wall, knocking over a spinning-wheel placed there and pricking herself with the point of the spindle. Unable to stop the spell during her fall, its mighty power made, a magic wood spring up all around the palace and its grounds. At least half a mile thick and made up of thorns and prickly plants, no one outside could have dreamed that such a castle lay within it.

 

So the years went by until a hundred years had passed, and the palace and its  story were all but forgotten.

 

Fated to put the Crimson Court out of its misery, a dragon-like fighter from a far distant country lost his way on returning from a big tournament. He cursed and clamoured:

“Blimey! Why am I doomed to be a wingless dragon getting footsore traipsing cross this landscape! It can´t be that tough to reach the next city of the Grand Prix!”

Spitting red sparks, the dragon banged into the brushwood of plants and thorns.

 

“Ahhh, why are these bloody thorns destined to prick just into my tush!” the dragon moaned while pulling out the spike with his teeth.

 

“Oh dear, what a forest!” the old dragon sighed, seeing all the briars in front of him. He let out a long moan and a large stream of fire jumped out of his mouth, catching the plants and thorns. A huge fire blazed up, destroying all the scrub, breaking the spell and raising all the Crimson Court from theie deep sleep.

 

A large yawn filled the room, and the witch stretched out, croaking with a still rusty voice: “Oahhhaa, I slept like a log!” Another twanging voice whined “Oh dear, my hair is all tousled, I´m sure my skin is all creased, where is my hand mirror, give me my beauty case, ohhh, I need my beauty case. Gimme my make-up, gimme, gimme, gimmeääähhhhhh!”

In the midst of all the kerfuffle of yawning, gaping, stretching and awakening the old dragon could be seen, muddleheaded stumbling through the crowd continously asking: “Pardon, is this Amsterdam? Sorry, Madame, am I on the right way to Amsterdam? Amsterdam? I need Amsterdam, oh dear, I must size the chance to shredder Shredder....”

 

Seeing the disoriented dragon, a group of strange figures approached, starting to cheer and dance.Tickeled by a glittering pompon Glaurung explosively sneezed while he could hear the urging voice of the hag in the middle of the group: “Come on guys, dance, cheer, chant....!”

 

Astonished by the cheering group, the refreshed queen struck the large gong and called for silence.

Majestically she started to speak:

“An unfortunate mishap interrupted our great fight for the bath in the sea of enlightenment, but now the time has come to go on admiring the prowess of all the heroes in the Crimson Court!”

 

Still slightly dozy the crowd shuffled to the great hall. Even the green light wizard snatched the place just beside his admired Trace without any pushing.Escorting her like a doggie,he stumbled every now and when  because of all the cosmetics,Trace , who could be seen refreshing the make up,the hair-do and the nailpolish in an admirable speed, ordered him to carry.

 

Reaching the chessboard with perfect style, Trace recognised with satisfaction the yearning gaze of all the guys around her. Throwing back a strand of her auburn hair, Trace looked first at the board, and saw the pawn on e4, then looked at the witch, and wondered at Bruja juggling with a broom.

Glimpsing Trace, Bruja welcomed her opponent with a warmhearted salute: “Oh darling, your perfume is really great! I´m sure it is safer than the birth control pill!”

 

Screaming Trace banged her knight to c6, and threw an evil glance at the witch, who was laughing up her sleeve. Choking back anger the belle gasped for breath. At a loss for words she heard the quiet whispering of the wizard,. A glacial smile played on her face as she answered: “You would look great in something floating, darling.....in the Mississippi, the Thames, or the Danube....!”

 

While cursing each other, and filling the hall with a mixture of laughter and indignation, the women plonked the pieces down on the board, and kept their eyes on each other all the time.

“Look at the board, duckie,” Bruja now spoke in a warmhearted voice. “Soon there will be nothing left to laugh about, so I will tell you a little joke to cheer you up honey. It´s a joke, so brilliant, that your boobs will sag with laughter.”

 

Seeing the inquisitive look on Trace’s face, she continued: “What a pity, lovey, I see, you already know it!”

 

Beside herself with rage, Trace lunged at the witch, trying to claw and kick her, drill her stiletto-heels into the wicked witch´s feet and tear her hair….but the wizard´s strong arms held her back, and embraced the furious lady. He was aglow with happiness having found a reason to hold his beloved in his arms.

 

Bruja, seized her chance and started a brisk attack, seemingly overrunning the excited Trace. Slowly Trace regained her strength and counterattacked by shouting:

“Your face looks like you´ve slept inside it, you ugly harpy!”

 

“Darling, please, would you be so kind to count up do ten? I want to have some silence for an hour!”, Bruja fought back. Blow for blow the brawling women cried their bitchy sentences

.

“Did your parents never beg on their knees, that you run away from home?” Trace bawled at Bruja, while the witch screeched back: “Why can´t you do something useful? Come on, and make your head available to the vacuum-researchers!”

 

“If I had your face, I would run in to a circular saw with a smile on my face!” the belle screamed when suddenly an angry shout filled the court. Blazing with fury the Queen imperiously ordered: “Stop it! From this moment onwards! No more quarreling, not a word. Finish your fight in silence, both of you!”

 

A peaceful silence spread while the shrewish women continued the uphill struggle on the board. A mysterious smile covered Bruja´s face, who dreamfully fiddled about her broom, seeing Trace taking comfort in the greenlighted wizards flattery.

 

No one could hear her gleeful murmur: “Oh yes, darling, you shall be inflamed with love, oh dear, how  I´m looking forward to see you making a fool of yourself, snooty thing!” A cattish giggle made the spectators cringe, while the witch started to deal with her broom.Magnitised everybody kept track of  the witch, whose magical susurration could be heard:

 

“Come, old broomstick, you are needed,
Take these rags and wrap them round you!
Long my orders you have heeded,
By my wishes now I've bound you.
Have two legs and stand,
And a head for you.
Run, and in your hand
Hold a floweret too.“

 

Petrified the crowd of spectators gawped at the broom, and saw it swirling and dancing towards Trace. Hypnotised the beau stared at the twirling broom, and started to scurry towards the bewitched broom with an amorously glance in her eyes.

 

Bruja´s canine laughter filled the room, and she shouted:

“Oh yeah, this is the man of your dream, honey, isn´t it? Look at him, darling, isn´t he a hunk?”

Aghast at the sight of his beloved making out with a broom, the greenlight wizard recognised, that Trace saw the prince of her dreams in this enchanted broom. He tried to pull her away, yanking on her dress, almost tearing it into tatters, he was thrust aside by the bewitched Trace. It seemed to cut through his heart, when he heared his beloved whispering loving words to her pretended heart-throb.

 

Hovering with delight over the chessboard, and with a loving glance in her eyes, Trace did not look at the game anymore, and kicked the pieces where ever they fell.

 

Rolling on the floor laughing the witch jeered: “Strewth, look at her, she is all lovey-dovey with my broom!”

Still  unable to react, the crowd followed the spooky lovedance, and Bruja, looking at the board, scoffed:

“I´ve done with you darling, come on, look at your truelove, sweet!” and raising her arms the witch shouted:

 

"To the lonely
Corner, broom!
Hear your doom.
As a spirit
When he wills, your master only
Calls you, then 'tis time to hear it."

 

Lifeless the broom toppled down just in front of the witch´s feet.

 

Trace gave a heart rending yell, on seeing her pretended prince as a scrubby brush.Gathering her dress she rushed out of the court, crying with shame and anger.

 

The crowd split into disgusted people, celebrating fans of Bruja, and those laughing and complaining, flocked into the garden, at least they were able to agree on throwing a great party, to both comfort Trace and to celebrate Bruja´s victory.